Who am I?

That's a good question. Who am I? Well Honestly I'm still trying to figure it out. My name is Courtney. I'm 25 soon to be 26. I was a B average student who graduated college in 2005 with a BFA in photography and a minor in psychology. I followed my heart and my gut and majored in art with the full support of my parents and family. And while i am proud of what i've accomplished so far. There is so much more I want to accomplish. I thought I would have accomplished so much more by now. I thought by 26 i'd have it figured out. But I don't. 

      I went away to college. Far far away. I started in florida and thats pretty far away from NY. It was one of the worst years of my life. I finally found my way to North Carolina. That was the place for me. Although I don't feel i ever fully flourished there, I was comfortable there. I was me. After I graduated I ended up coming back home. While it was the only choice I had at the time. The only logical, sensible, economical choice. I feel like maybe it wasn't the best because now i feel stuck. In high school I knew I had to go to college to escape this place. And now I'm stuck, back here, 8 years later. 

     I thought once i graduated college everything would fall magically into place. It seemed to work for everyone else. I don't know the answers. I'm not sure if I ever will. I used to think that the people i looked up to, the people i admired had the answers. But i'm beginning to realize that maybe they don't have the answers either. You only go through life, experience life, and get wiser. But that doesn't mean you have the answers.  Besides what works for one person might not work for another, right? 

 Well with the start of a new year. 2012. I thought i would start this new blog, to document my journey in figuring it all out. In trying to find the old me, or maybe the new me. In trying to accomplish things instead of sitting around letting life just happen without me. It might take me awhile to find my motivation but i'm hoping that after sitting around for 3 years I can kick my butt in gear to make my life the way I want it. 

      I'm just glad to say that in the last three years I have found the love of my life again. I thought I had lost him. Sometimes i get aggravated with him for not being romantic enough or help me when i need it. Honestly, I'm just happy to have him in my life again. He is there when i really need it. He has stuck by my side through the really hard stuff. So the last three years hasn't been a complete waste of time. 

So here's to a Happy New Year. May 2012 be the year. This blog isn't really about who reads it. Its more for me to write everything out. To find answers. To document my journey. For me to look back a day from now, a month from now, a year from now, etc. and see how far i've come. To motivate me to keep going even when the tough gets tougher. So here's to 2012. Let it be far better than 2011 ever was.